


Disorderly Conduct

by InterzoneAgent



Series: Residents: The Vagabond, The Mycologist, and their child [1]
Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst and Humor, Bisexuality, Creampie, Dubious Consent, Exhibitionism, Homophobia (mentioned), Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Major Spoilers, Not Beta Read, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Rough Sex, Stalking, Trans Higgs Monaghan, Transphobia (Mentioned), Vaginal Fingering, Voyeurism, watersports (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-18 06:55:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21840124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterzoneAgent/pseuds/InterzoneAgent
Summary: When his plans to ruin Sam's day fall through, Higgs takes matters into his own hands and ends up makes things worse for not only Sam but himself.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges/Higgs Monaghan
Series: Residents: The Vagabond, The Mycologist, and their child [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1590088
Comments: 16
Kudos: 212





	1. A Normal Hobby

Sam Porter Bridges had awoken that morning to a terminal packed with emergency orders. Something was up with the Chiral Network. Sure, it was nothing dire but the network had slowed down and glitched out enough to scare the shit out of the local preppers. Everything from food rations to old sports car magazines had a [URGENT] tag slapped next to it.

Die-Hardman saw it as a perfect opportunity to show just how reliable BRIDGES were in times of great need, ' _Like a lighthouse in a raging storm_ _at sea’,_ he had mused as Sam packed another XL container of filtered water on his back and the porter almost broke his neck.  
' _ **Sam**_ _. Only you can do this, and you_ _ **can**_ _do this._ _These aren’t multiple orders, but one order to_ _T_ _he_ _P_ _eople._ _We The People_ _of The United Cities of America_ _._ _Be our beacon at the shore_ _._ '

Stepping up after Die-Hardman’s hologram was Deadman who strongly suggested a floating carrier after nervously telling Sam a truck isn’t an option due to something going wrong with the garage printer this morning. Gasping after seeing the amount of packages in the order, he then recommended two with a friendly, twitching smile and shaking arms. So Sam came stumbling out of the distribution center lugging two stacked carriers like a matching pair of ball and chains behind him.

_Ain’t that just wonderful?_

This was _a three-course meal of a recipe for disaster!_ and Higgs Monaghan was _starving_.

The dopamine hit just from snapping a quick photo of Sam stubbing his toe on a rock was downright orgasmic.  
Each “ _Goddamn it man!’_ and _‘Fuck this!’_ a soaring opera.  
Every little thing that could go wrong was about to go wrong.  
Anything that could break was about to be broken.  
Now it was almost as if a higher power was just fucking with Sam, laughing at him. Who knows for sure? Higgs knew for sure he was as close to a real god this world would ever get and he did _absolutely hate_ Sam.

Higgs especially hated how lucky the fucking bastard was.

* * *

Once Sam finally got to that first delivery it was nothing but silky smooth sailing.

Fifteen Legend of Legends ranks in a row.

Preppers showering their hero porter in gifts and building materials.

Sam still had one carrier bobbling up and down behind him but now it was stacked up with metal and special alloys. Higgs considered just sending a catcher after him, or three. His eyes lit up as he saw a tired Sam loose his balance and slide down the side of the mountain. Only for it to turn out Sam had just wandered into lush tall grass and deep blue rivers to the delight of both him and somebody named Lou. Happily climbing up the tiny flower covered hill there and telling whoever the fuck Lou is to _‘Check that out! Wow!’_ as he spread his arms out like an excited kid.

A photo was taken, Higgs needed to document Sam clearly going insane here. He needed a better camera, the zoom barely got the smile on Sam’s face. It made Higgs’ heart pound fast... in fear of this raving lunatic.

Sam starts sliding down the hill on his spare carrier so Higgs sits down to start going through his pictures from today.

That’s just _embarrassing_.  
That’s a _midlife crisis_.

He doesn’t need to see it especially when his camera storage is at 80% full and it’s taking forever to move shit over to cloud storage. Just great that him fucking with the network came back to bite him in the ass and not Sam. Below Sam’s tossed down a timefall shelter that’s going to take decades to construct and is fucking his upload ratio even more. Fucking idiot. Higgs wasn’t going to make it rain for another hour. He might not do it at all now when Sam’s would just find some way to ruin that too. Higgs can hear _‘Lou!’_ again and a baby clapping and laughing. Sam had put his BB pod on the carrier and was pulling it along like it’s a kid in a shiny red wagon.  
  
83% full.

* * *

If Sam wouldn’t fuck up on his own, Higgs would do it for him.

  
The problem was waiting for Sam to get into a good position. Higgs already decided where he would land, right on top of that cheery little hill with it’s disgusting cute flowers, but there was an issue where Sam had to be standing. He wanted Sam to be facing away from it so he’d have to turn around after Higgs’ grand arrival. Right now Sam wasn’t even standing, he was sitting under his timefall shelter eating a boxed lunch. A fucking boxed lunch! Who the fuck gave him a boxed lunch?! This is a waking nightmare. Sam was even pretending to share his canteen with his BB by tilting it in front of the tank he had happily sat next to him before he started eating. _Absolutely terrifying_.

Higgs had gone over what he’d say about 50 times before Sam was finally in a good position. Sam was facing the river and staring at who knows what and he didn’t show any signs of moving after having placed down construction for a safehouse to continue fucking up the upload speed of any innocent locals just trying to record family memories together. That was going to take eons to build, so there was Sam looking out at the river lost in thought about who knows what? _D_ _elivery routes?_ He snorted at the thought.

Higgs dusted himself off and prepared for the jump.  
He wouldn’t hurt Sam _too bad._  
Wouldn’t monologue at him for _too long_.

With a deep breath, our ever elegant Particle of God successfully materialized atop the tiny knoll a few feet away from a mailman pissing on some river rocks to grow mushrooms.

* * *

“Now~” Higgs declared, hovering an inch above the shaggy grass for dramatic effect. “Ain’t this just pretty as a picture!” Absolute perfect delivery, if he said so himself.

“Maaan! What the fuck?!”

They both just stood there staring at the other in silence.

Higgs hates it, _absolutely hates it_ , but he’d need an hour minimum to figure out how to turn _‘I mean the view! Your view! Not my view! I mean the river! Not your pretty cock! Not the river coming out of your pretty cock!’_ into something he could ever consider saying out loud to Sam Porter Bridges. Higgs didn’t have _5 minutes_ let alone an hour. This was worse than even Sam’s stupid picnic. He had to say _something._ Running away was never, and will never, be an option. He’d die of humiliation.

“Boy howdy!” _Fantastic! Great job! You did it! That’s even worse!  
_ Turn it around, he had to turn it around. Higgs knew he could turn it around and twist it into something funny. Something smooth. Something mocking Sam, Sam who still had his dick hanging out of his jumpsuit. Look at that! _L-L-Look at that!_ The dudes a joke! How hard could it be? _How hard…_

Higgs took out his camera.

“DUDE!” Sam huffed and he was _blushing_ as he quickly put himself away. Successfully pushing out every agonizing thought of self-hatred from Higgs’ brain because not only does Sam blush _all the way up to his ears!_ _Take a picture! Take a fucking picture! It’s your last chance before you hole up in th_ _at cursed_ _shelter for the rest of your life!_ but Higgs was sure he saw Sam’s dick _twitch_ when Sam realized Higgs was holding a camera.

“Sam! I never t-t-took you for the camera shy type!” Stutter. Higgs hates when he stutters but it’s a solid start. Actually, Sam never had the advantage to begin with. The ball was always in Higgs’ court. He always had this! Why should he be humiliated? Higgs wasn’t the one having peepshots taken of him. _He_ _...He has been taking peepshots…_ _Shake it off! “_ Try an’ shake it off, hun!”

Sam’s face ( _and ears!_ ) were still pink. He looked down at his BB pod, running his hand over the side. Higgs hated that thing, suddenly Sam’s blush was totally gone and he had that same tired, bland _Sam l_ ook on his face it always had. Boring.

“Higgs, the fuck are you doing?” Sam asked in that same tired, bland _Sam_ voice he always used. _BORING_!

“What’s it look like?” The usual deep breath and Higgs went up in a flash from the hill to right behind Sam. He popped up in front of him and sacrificed his precious gallery space to snap a photo for dramatic effect. Doing it again as he teleported in front of him, at the side, above him, and one more as he laid on the roof of the timefall shelter. “Just takin’ some Sunday snapshots, Sammy boy!” _Please, please go ‘It’s Thursday.’_

“Uh-huh, what for?” _Fuck_ _you Sam!_

“Newsletter? Magazine? You’re the biggest fish in this dried up little pound Sam.” He tapped the camera against his hips, fading out for a minute and pulling off the lower jaw of his mask. Higgs wiggled his smile in the air for his sleepy old Alice. “Bet I could make a pretty penny off a couple of the more… Scandalous ones.”

“And leak your private collection?”

“I would _never_.”  
  
“So you’ve got one?” Higgs almost fell off.

“Dunno Sam, would that be a problem?”

“You a queer?” Higgs did fall off. He caught himself half an inch away from the ground and moved back to snap the jaw of his mask back on.

Higgs felt _sick_ . Felt vivid memories of fresh bruises wrapped in dirty bandages. How happy he had been looking at himself in the mirror after cutting his hair short for the very first time. The same swelling in his chest as his heart sank and sank lower and lower. Heard the dead prick’s voice in his ears, _‘Are you a fucking queer?’_

“Yes.” Higgs found himself replying quietly, that day was so far away now. So why did his voice sound the same? Why did he feel so fucking small?

“Figures.” _Figures._ “No problem here.” _Then why the fuck did you say that?_

“You sure about that, Sam?” Higgs slid off the timefall shelter, laughing when Sam shuddered after Higgs landed a few inches in front of him. “No problems? Got it all figured out?”

“Nobody is going to buy anything off of you. You’re a fuckin’ terrorist.” Higgs grabbed Sam’s wrists before he could pet the _little monster_ strapped to chest. Sam shuddered once more, discomforted washing over his face.

“Not just a terrorist Sammy boy but a dirty queer terrorist.” He squeezed Sam’s wrists harder. “Good boy like you, Sam, it’s hard to think it’s all just good-to go when I’m such an awful, awful, dirty man.”

“Yeah alright, as much I love meeting other dirty queers, I got a pretty big problem with terrorists.” Sam was wincing. “You’re hurting me, so ease up. You win. There’s a problem.”

“Well shit! Sam! Course I win!” Higgs laughed, letting go of Sam only to suddenly grab him by the waist. He pulled Sam tight against his chest until he felt him squirming against him. Higgs rested his chin in Sam’s hair and wrapped himself around his body even closer than before and pushed all of his weight against him. “You should know by now, I always win.” Through his masks he could smell Sam, sweaty and earthy from a hard day’s work and his heart started to jackhammer. “Little human like you could never go toe-to-toe with a god.”

That’s right, Higgs was above Sam, above his daddy. Poor little Sam, all he could do against Higgs’ onslaught of overstimulation was shiver _oh so violently_ up against him for minutes. Eventually he started rapidly patting Higgs back and Higgs wondered if maybe Sam couldn’t breathe. The idea sent Higgs twirling around in a circles while holding on to Sam like he was a big teddy bear.

Then the bastard _bit him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t publicly posted something I wrote in actual years.  
> Here’s hoping somebody likes it as much as I like writing it.  
> (I can’t promise a regular chapter schedule.)  
> If I did not properly warn for anything, I am sorry.  
> I can only write from my own experiences. I can’t speak for anyone but myself and don't see them as a global truth.
> 
> also took liberties with Higgs' masks. Just because I like masks being knocked off.


	2. Cockblocker in a Bottle

Across the babbling brook behind them the setting sun was dyeing the earth in deep romantic shades of orange and pink while Sam Porter Bridges bit down on Higgs Monaghan’s neck as hard as humanly possible and saved himself from death by asphyxiation.

“Fuuuuuuck! Ow!” Higgs yelped before he could stop himself. How had Sam been able to locate the single sliver of exposed skin on his entire body? He felt his face boiling under his masks that both felt heavier and heavier with each passing second of silence. Sam’s _fucking mouth_ had just made direct contact with his _bare fucking skin_ and Higgs found himself struggling to get over the fact.

“Let me go!” Sam pushed his elbows into Higgs’ chest and finally pried the other man off of him before giving Higgs another bite for good measure.

“Sam! If that ain’t insolence I don't know what is!” Higgs lunged to grab Sam again. He was going to twirl Sam up in the fucking air so he could wrap his legs around Sam’s waist this time while he hugged him. Higgs was going to cuddle the fuck out of Sam until both of them suffocated. “You just got yourself a one-way ticket to Hell! C’mere boy!”

“Keep it asshole! I just got back!” Sam pushed Higgs away before he could get a good grip on him.

“What’s the matter, Sam? Can’t take a friendly little hug?” Higgs felt giddy. Sam always looked tired but Higgs had never seen Sam look so _deliciously exhausted_ before. His face was red all over in random irritated patches, normally tight and tidy ponytail messy and loose and Higgs had trouble not rubbing his legs together as he looked the bastard over.

“Not from a fucking anaconda! No!” Sam groaned. He took out his canteen and took a shaky sip from it.

“Know for a fact you couldn’t keep it together gettin’ cuddled by a corn snake.” Higgs was grinning ear to ear. His eyes darted back and forth watching Sam’s adam's apple bob as he drank from his canteen. Higgs floated upwards a couple of feet to get a better shot before snapping a photo. He kicked his feet up in the air and crossed them so the inner seam of his military trousers would rub up between himself and against his clit. By accident, obviously. “Ain’t you just too cute! Folks will go hog wild over this one!”

* * *

It turned out that Sam had not only a talent for building bridges, but dams as well.

Hearing the sound of a baby cooing and yawning sent Higgs’ legs apart and standing firmly planted on the ground. The ghost of Sam’s lips and teeth against his neck was gone along with that giddy excitement that had been running up and down between Higgs’ heart and straight to his cunt.

  
Right now the only thing Higgs could feel was _seething hatred_ for that stupid baby.  
 _  
It’s not even a baby!  
Not a proper one! _

It was crystal clear that Sam did in fact like having Higgs take his picture a little too much because Sam was using that stupid _thing_ , not a _baby_ a _thing_ , as a portable cold shower. Even worse it must be an even stronger security blanket than Higgs had figured before because Sam had the balls to act like Higgs wasn’t even fucking there when he should be _fucking terrified_ that he dared to push somebody as dangerous as he is away.

After all that was _blasphemous_.

“Now pardon me… But what am I chopped liver?” Higgs yanked the BB out of his Sam’s hands and _finally_ Sam looked mad at him.

It was electric.  
Electric fire blazing between them.  
A roaring fire that crackled like lightening inside of Higgs until Sam smashed his knee hard into his stomach and sent the BB tumbling out of his hands.

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

Higgs needed a time out, needed to pause the game. What if it lands on a rock and cracks open? Sam can’t just lose his BB in some blameless accident, he loves that thing. Higgs would never see him again if that happened. If it broke like this Sam would go hide away forever in some hole. Higgs knew harming Sam’s BB was an absolute last resort. It was insurance. He went to so much trouble of instructing Demens across the entire country to never take a shot at it. If it came to that, if there was no other way left, the one to break Sam Porter Bridges by shooting a bullet through his BB’s head would be Higgs.

That would be playing on easy mode and Higgs doesn’t play on easy.

He plays on _European Extreme_.

Meanwhile Sam had quickly caught Lou and when Higgs finally snapped out of it he was greeted to both of them flipping him off.

* * *

“Get a load of super dad over here!” Higgs hissed as he watched a now sleeping Lou placed firmly back in place. “Letting his precious little one hang around a dangerous criminal!”

That thing inside wasn't any different than the one Higgs’ pod if anything it was lesser, because Ameile didn't give Sam his BB like she had given Higgs his. So why did Sam love it so much? He had to know it had 2 months tops left to live. It didn’t matter how much Sam played with it or treated it to _accursed_ picnics in scenic meadows.

In fact Sam would have a better time if he did that kind of things with Higgs.  
 _Uh…  
What? _

Now that is disgusting. Just thinking about it.

Having Sam pull him around in a makeshift wagon.  
Having Sam share his lunch with him.  
Having Sam there to take him out to see the outside world and keep him safe and sound the entire time…

Growing up with Sam around…  
Making deliveries with Sam, napping together in a cave as they wanted for the timefall to pass with his head against Sam’s strong chest, hugging Sam anytime he wanted, Sam _letting_ him hug him…  
Oh, how vile.  
No wonder thinking about this made Higgs feel so cold.  
Just foul.

“Ain’t it frustrating?” Higgs materialized behind Sam with a voice as cold as he felt. “Pulling your own heartstrings out over something you can’t even touch?”

“You tell me.”

Had Sam just kicked him again? Sure as hell felt like it.

“Whoa there, Sammy boy!” Higgs grabbed Sam hard by the shoulders. Each shudder from Sam against his palms feeds his confidence. Poor old Sam must be raw from so much physical contact at once.

Sam sighed and rested the back of his head against Higgs’ own shoulders. “Higgs.”

“S-Sam?” _Stuttering, Pathetic. Tiny, small._ The voice in Higgs’ head wasn’t his own. _Hurry up and.._

“Just, tell me what you want.”

Around them the sky had shifted to tinting everything around them purple. Sam pressed his back against Higgs and let out another weary sigh as he finally tugged his hair out of the ponytail. Even with all the armor Higgs wore and the heavy material of Sam’s jumpsuit Sam felt so warm. His hair looked so soft and Higgs could smell it as Sam moved his head so Higgs’ chin was resting atop it.

* * *

Exactly what kind of man was Sam Porter Bridges?

All Higgs really had was his photographs. A few news paper articles, some aggravatingly incomplete therapist records, but it was mostly those photographs he had took himself. Sam had been around a 20 something years before Higgs even existed to be able to take his photograph and another 30 something before Higgs started taking them.

‘ _You a queer?’, ‘No problem here.’, ‘I love meeting other dirty queers.’, “You win.’, ‘Tell me what you want.’_ Sam’s words echoed in his head over and over. They painted a picture that didn’t make any sense:

_Sam in a nearly empty sorting center, it’s just him and another male porter. Reckon this other porter is taller than Sam. Sam is just a bit on the short side after all so it just makes sense. Sam is smiling and he walks up behind the taller porter who before he knows it is cornered with Sam pinning him to the wall behind ‘em._

‘ _Hey.’ Sam goes and he looks right into the guy’s eyes, and our guy’s got real light blue eyes but Sam can only make out one of 'em from under the cap this guy wears to hide his face. ‘Heard you’re a queer.’_

‘ _Yeah, I’m a dirty queer.” He spits back at Sam in a smooth southern drawl, he’s so cool. ‘Careful now, pretty boy like you getting so close might give me ideas!” His mascara looks great too. Anyway…_

_Sam just purrs back at our hero, ‘I love meeting other dirty queers.’_

Except Sam has aphenphosmphobia which Higgs is sure would make him one shitty libertine if he was one.

Still, was this the kind of guy Sam was?

Maybe Sam got off on never giving guys what they want in the end or maybe it was as simple as Sam got off it hurting and making him uncomfortable.

Higgs knew Sam had a wife, and being one he was pretty aware of bisexuals being a thing, but considering the dude was married and all did that mean Sam would sneak around? If Sam was actually some kind of insatiable sex addict. He had to be! Who else comes on to, in Sam’s own words, _a fuckin’ terrorist._  
  
Then there was the _other thing_.The one Higgs’ doesn’t want to think about because he already knows the answer that one. His daddy had drilled that answer into his head.

Oh Sam, you worthless trash, could you really be almost as bad as Higgs’ dear old daddy was?

* * *

  
Now more than ever Higgs knows exactly what he wants is.

“What I want Sam...” Higgs starts off soft and smooth as butter. He snakes his arms under Sam’s and wraps them around his waist, careful not to so much as tap against Sam’s BB pod.

“Mm?”

“Is total annihilation!” Higgs squeezes Sam hard against him for dramatic effect. Soaking it in when Sam gasped out in discomfort.

“Huh, of your ass or mouth?”

“Extinction on a gl- WHAT.” Higgs could hear Sam laughing at him and he was going to make him regret it. He spun Sam around and stared daggers into the other man’s eyes.

Only Sam looked right back at him smiling and curious and said something about pretty eyes that made Higgs had to look away for his own sanity’s sake. Whatever Sam said, his brain refused to process it.

“Hey don’t...” Sam sounded so sad. It was adorable and Higgs was going to kill him. Sam placed a hand on Higgs’ masked face and softly nudged it to face him again.

“Is it hard?” _Wow! What a horrible fucking choice of words!  
_

“Oh uh...” Sam looked embarrassed, Higgs was without a doubt going to kill him because it was sweet enough to make the teeth rot of of his head. “I kinda can’t when L-”

“Must be tough! Bein’ a whore with your condition!” Higgs interrupted, he couldn’t get distracted.

“What the fuck are you on about now?” Sam stared up at him in confusion.

“Oh Sam, that poor woman of yours! How many boys did you bend over behind her back?”

Sam punched Higgs so hard in the face both of his masks went flying off his face at once.

* * *

Sam watched Higgs scramble to get both his masks back on without a word.

“D-D-D-Did you see?!” Higgs panicked, his voice more pitiful to his own ears than ever. “Did y-you see?!”

“I didn’t see anything.”

“G-G-Good!” Higgs pointed at Sam. “Sam Porter Bridges! Consider yourself one lucky sonuvabitch! Had a perverted adulterer such as yourself gazed upon the visage of your god no doubt you’d go blind!”

“Never cheated in my entire life, prick.”

“...”

“You get a lot of twisted ideas in your head, don’t you?” Sam sighed, _Higgs wish he’d stop doing that_ , and bridged the distance between them. He rested a hand on his thigh as the other took one of Higgs’ hands into his own. Sam laid his head against where Higgs’ collarbones were and laced their fingers together. “Guess you wanna make everybody out to be as bad as you are.”

“Believe me, Sam, you all are.”

“I don’t take creepshots.” _They’re not creepshots!!_

“You got it wrong-” Higgs stops, dread filled his entire body as Sam’s hand inched closer to his groin.

“If you’re not gonna tell me what you use ‘em for maybe you can show me.” Sam leaned upwards and kissed the gold mandible of Higgs’ mask, a tear rolling down his cheek on contact with the chiralium it’s made of.

The entire movement, every single thing about it, Higgs thinks it’s beautiful. Sam is so beautiful and Higgs hates him more than anything.

“Sam, listen here, I-”

“Don’t you ever get tired of talking?” Sam kisses under Higgs’ chin and squeezes their hand together tighter.

Higgs feels frozen. He knows what is going to happen, he always knows what is going to happen which is why he has never actually done anything like this.

“Let me-”

Sam grabbed between his legs.

Higgs feels sick.

He’s waiting for it, _just waiting for it_.

_Go on Sam, oh what will it be first?_

A freak or a 'woman'? Even his daddy never called him a 'girl' after he found out he called Higgs a thing. Higgs hated that almost as much but it didn't make him puke like the other, still he didn't want to hear "thing" again ether.

Freak would at least be correct. Freak was something Higgs might of liked hearing because it described him to a T in ways that actually matter, even if it was still going to fucking hurt.

No matter what he was going to smash Sam’s fucking skull in for daring to think he can just grope a higher being without even asking him, _so go ahead and say it_.

“Higgs, are you seriously not wearing underwear?” _What!_

“What!”

“You’re a fucking pervert. For real.” Sam laughed and it was husky, it was aroused.

“S-Says sticky fingers over here.” Higgs buckled his hips against Sam’s hand. That friendly inner seam doing it’s usual job. “The average Joe usually ain’t enlightened enough to truly appreciate a God’s body. Color me impressed Sam.”

“My fingers ain’t sticky yet.” Sam pulled at one of the straps around Higgs’ thighs. “How do I take this shit off?”

“By askin’ me nicely, so how about you get on your tippy toes and gimmie a kiss again?” Higgs purred, “You know I love seein’ you cry like a baby just from a little chiralium.”

Sam laughed and leaned up to kiss him again. Higgs pressed his own lips against his mask as Sam did.

* * *

Something clinked loudly against another.

“Shit. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Huh?”

Sam pulled away, looking down at his chest at a murmuring and stretching Lou who woke up after her pod had hit the one Higgs’ wore. His hand freezes right before he can touch the pod and Higgs snickers as he realizes that Sam just thought about where that hand had been.

“Sam, you gotta be kiddin’ me here.” Higgs rolled his eyes. “Who the fuck cares?”

“I do.” Sam said bluntly, pulling his gloves off and stuffing them in his pocket. “Hand me your buddy too.”

“But it was just gettin’ good.” Higgs whined.

“Too bad. C’mon even you gotta admit that’s fucked up. Doin’ this shit in front of two kids, what kind of guy would do that?”

Higgs knew exactly the kind of guy who would do that. He tugged BB off his chest, the glass going black the instant the wire was disconnected. Sam looked nervous as Higgs handed it over. A beautiful opening.

“Don’t mess with _buddy_ here, you could trigger a void out.” The lie sounded good. “He ain’t like yours.”

Sam nodded, “I got it. Just stay out here.”

“What? Why?” Higgs floated behind Sam as he walked to the safehouse anyway.

“Because I don’t trust you not to try anything.”

“Sam, the only one who has been doin’ anything in front of these little pickle jars is you.”

“Yeah, I don’t trust myself ether.”

That made Higgs’ heart race and with a silent complaint he headed to under the timefall shelter, at the very least he could defile Sam’s picnic spot.  
  
He really needed to get over the picnic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect so many people to like this story, thank you all so much!  
> It's still kind of scary posting stuff, but what isn't?  
> Happy Holidays!  
> I have the week off so the final chapter should in theory come out quicker.


	3. Mushroom fever, fever

Only a minute had passed since Sam Porter Bridges went down into the safehouse, but for Higgs Monaghan who was left alone with only his brain to keep him company it felt like an hour.

No matter how he tried Higgs could not in fact get over the picnic.

How could he get over it? It was beyond fucked that a _Bridge Baby_ had a better daddy than Higgs did.

Higgs remembered the girls his daddy would bring inside the cramped shelter and the nights spent with his hands covering his ears curled up in the corner that followed. Memories of big blue bruises crawled up his back on prickly little centipede legs reminding Higgs of one particular sour morning after. Higgs pleaded with his daddy that if these bony women with thin wrists and knotty knees could make it across the American southwest in their heels there was no reason he couldn’t go outside too. It earned Higgs a couple of hard lashes with daddy’s trusty leather belt across his shoulder blades, two matching shiners, and a night locked in the bathroom. Not even close to fair considering nether of them knew for sure if the girls changed their shoes after getting there or not. He got a kick in the kidneys for bringing that up after daddy finally unlocked the bathroom door and dragged him out into the blinding fluorescent lights of the tiny living area of their shelter.

 _Would Sam have helped him?  
_ _What was the point in thinkin’ about if he would?_

This little intrusive fantasy Higgs kept having of Sam coming to his rescue was never going to go away. Long before he had ever heard of Sam let alone met the man in the flesh Higgs has had this same fantasy lurking in the back of his head and eating away his brain cells. Hell, he hated to admit it but that was a big part of why Higgs hated Sam as much as he did.

“Shit.” Is he really going to there? _He is_ _ **not going to go there.**_ Higgs looked over to the safehouse and then back up when a light flickered up above him.

Back when Higgs was still a porter they didn’t have anything like the stuff Sam kept building everywhere and Higgs never figured the timefall shelters would have a built in nightlight. He wouldn’t of been out late enough to see the timefall shelters light up back then anyway, Higgs would always finish before sunset. Dusk with all those _purples, pinks, and sickly little bits of yellow_ _up against dark blue_ just made him think of looking down at his own bruised and broken limbs while he was coiled up in the corner made to keep quiet. _Not a fan!_

The memories flooded and Higgs felt his skin start to prickle again only for it to be soothed by sudden warm air.

“Damn son.” _These things had built in heaters too?_

Higgs rested his back flat against the timefall shelter’s metal stalk and wiggled around until he found the microscopic vents the heat flowed out from. It felt good, reminded him of how it felt when Sam had rested up against him. These big metal saffron milk caps? Unlike sunsets, he was _absolutely a fan of 'em._

Higgs loved mushrooms.

“Most folks don’t realize how close of cousins humans and fungi are! It ain’t only on the inside but outside as well on _a grand_ _metaphorical_ level as humanity _clings_ to existence.” Higgs started with a smile, he was waiting for Sam to come up the elevator and go _‘Uhh.. What?’_

Sam had been down there for exactly two minutes and 45 seconds.

“Humanity got no diversity o’ course! You’d have a hard time pickin’ out a human fungus that ain’t parasitic in nature.”

_Was Sam… Not coming out?_

Higgs pressed his lips against his mask like he had when Sam kissed him. Carefully Higgs pulled both his masks off and turned them around. He traced his finger over where Sam had so happily kissed him and licked across the teeth of his favorite mask. _Waste of time,_ all he could taste was chiralium and now thanks to the allergy his make up was probably ruined. In fact now that he had been paying attention to it his face felt greasy and wet exposed up against the cold air. What had he been hoping for? That his mask would of tasted exactly like the inside of Sam's mouth somehow?

“Got zero doubt mushrooms taste better than people do, too.” Higgs got up and went to the river while he muttered to himself. “Uncultured masses out there think all mushrooms taste like nothin’...”

There was tiny red mushrooms budding there between the river rocks. Fly agaric followed Sam everywhere and it made Higgs smile, it was fitting for his Alice but Higgs had no clue exactly why and how. It didn’t make sense for these to be growing here let alone so fast and all Higgs had seen Sam do over here was… _No way!_

Higgs started laughing.

Sam was something else! Higgs would have to take samples of these _pisshrooms_.

Squatting to pick one up Higgs caught his reflection in the water and his mood tanked again. Both his eyeliner and mascara were fucked beyond repair. All Higgs could think was that he looked like a _wet newspaper_. Has Sam seriously made him cry this fucking much in one day? Sam had… No, don’t forget _we’re **not going there** . _

Higgs must of gotten a nosebleed after Sam decked him because there was dried blood mixed in with the make-up, tar, and dried sweat stuck to his face and beard.

 _It was_ _pure horror_!  
 _Absolute terror!_

Higgs already hated his face to begin with! He almost dunked his entire head into the river but settled for not bothering to take his gloves off before splashing it clean. _Maybe… Now just maybe…_ Higgs wasn’t the only god out there, something merciful enough must exist and it had kept him from having to see his face like this during the day. Higgs barely waited for his face to dry before slapping both of his masks back on, he took a final look a the little red mushrooms and decided he’d collect a sample another time.

A thought popped into his head that was so stupid that it just wouldn’t go away.

Higgs looked around and still Sam hadn’t graced him with his presence, he took a deep breath as he undid the straps around his thighs. It’s not public urination if there is no actual public around to see you.

Will they be inky caps instead of fly agaric?

* * *

Walking back from the river with his body armor over his shoulder the timefall shelter looked more like a russula emetica to Higgs now than a saffron milk cap _._ Higgs wished Sam was out here so he could bully him for without a doubt not knowing what ether of those are.

“That’s a real tasty mushroom, Sammy Boy... I’d recommend you eat it raw...” Higgs mumbled and started moving towards the safehouse. _Did Sam like mushrooms?_

Without his body armor there to hold them up Higgs pants kept falling down and he wanted to scream. He wanted to go home. It had been exactly six minutes now as Higgs walked up to the terminal.

Why had he given over BB to Sam? The last thing Higgs needed was to get in trouble with Ameile so now he was stuck here until Sam decided to pop back up.

Higgs wanted to go back to his shelter and order a bunch of portobello pizza while he hung up his new pictures of Sam. He wanted to drown Sam in timefall storms once he was stupid enough to take his order and hide behind the bolted door masturbating until he finally showed up with his food. It was always in perfect condition, hot, and delivery was fast so it felt amazing to give Sam a C rank each time. He had to wonder, why did Sam keep delivering them? _Did Sam like pizza?_ Sam never responded to Peter. It annoyed Higgs so much he ended up spending a week hacking into Sam’s mail and learned that Sam didn’t respond to _anybody_.

Right now Higgs hacked into the terminal and stuffed his body armor and grenades into the private locker with same basic codes he had used to get into Sam's mail so it hadn't been _too pointless_ in the end. He wondered if he should just go down there. What was Sam even doing? Could he get in there if he wanted? Higgs had to try and get Sam's attention at least.

Higgs jumped into the air and stomped down on where the elevator opened up.

Silence.

He got in position to do it again. _Does Sam like…_  
  
 _Mushrooms on pizza?_  
Higgs’ pants fell down to his knees this time before he could jump making him trip and land hard on his face. His hands frantically rubbed over his face to make sure both masks were in tact, he was _so fucking sick_ of having masks knocked off today. He was sick of today period. Higgs didn't care how hot it got outside, he'd be switching over the black cowl mask permanently and throwing this black face mask straight in the garbage.

“FUCK! Yeah I’m cheating on you asshole!” Higgs shouted _at his_ _pants_.

_That's right... It's your fault!_

They had been loyal sure with nice rough khaki fabric that rubbed in the wrong ways at the right times. Higgs remembered the particularly cute army type he had stolen them from too before throwing his body in the ocean. The cold nights spent fingering himself through them looking at blurry photos of Sam’s ass.

Above all Higgs would never forget using how baggy they were at the crotch to hide a vibrating toy inside himself for an entire day as he stalked Sam. He had even met with his underlings a couple times that day just to make it all the more exciting.

There was also the horrible yeast infection that followed afterwards…

Still that inner seam was his best friend in this lonely world that refused to die, so Higgs refused to wear boxers.

…There was that one time the toy fell out and he couldn’t explain why his left leg was vibrating…

“You were always out to get me! Just distracting me all the time!” Higgs pulled the loose legs of his pants out of his boots and ripped his trousers off. “Jealous little bitch! Better count your lucky stars and _hope_ I come back for you! Don't even fucking fit!” he smashed them into the private locker.

_It's kinda cold out, ain't it?_

Higgs stood up and dusted off his fleece turtleneck, now there was a loyal piece of clothing that would never hurt him. His cloak also was a _super good boy_ , as for his boots he wasn’t so sure-

“...”

For the first time in his life, for just a fleeting second, Higgs questioned his sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For aesthetic and pacing reasons this story has been upgraded to 5 chapters  
> the next chapter being a short mail exchange. 
> 
> MUSHROOM NOTES:  
> The concept of "Mushroom notes" is rather strange isn't it?  
> It is mentioned off hand in the first chapter but for this fanfiction the mushrooms that grow in Death Stranding are as real as the day is long.
> 
> russula emetica are also called "vomiting russula" and "sickener" you can guess what would happen to Sam if he ate one raw.  
> fly agaric are those cute red mushrooms with white spots that you see everywhere.  
> saffron milk caps are delicious flat brown mushrooms.  
> inky cap mushrooms are Higgs irl. 
> 
> the title of this chapter is from the song "Mushroom Mother" by PinocchioP!  
> A old favorite song of mine that upon hearing it again reminded me so much of Sam and Higgs that my brain started connecting Higgs with mushrooms.  
> 🍄🍄🍄


	4. NSA is Still a Thing

**To:** Sam Porter Bridges  
 **From:** Peter Englert  
 **Subject:** Do You Like Mushrooms on Pizza?

> My dear Mr. Sam Porter Bridges, it is I the one and only Peter Englert. First of all, I hope this beautiful evening finds you healthy and well.
> 
> Currently in my possession I have the hottest most delicious pizza pie. This warm delicacy is just dripping with hot, creamy cheese and making quite the mess.
> 
> I find myself in a tight spot however, for I fear I have no mushrooms to put on my pizza!
> 
> As you can tell this is an urgent matter! I need you to deliver a big thick mushroom to me ASAP!
> 
> This is life or death so don’t delay! I know you have a rather wonderful mushroom on your person already.

**To:** Sam Porter Bridges  
 **From:** Peter Englert  
 **Subject:** please respond

> Mr. Sam Porter Bridges this boiling hot virgin pizza is going to get cold and if that is the case I am sorry to say that I will have no choice but to fly the coop!
> 
> I apologize if I did not make my location clear! I am currently waiting for you at your usual picnic spot!

**To:** Sam Porter Bridges  
 **From:** Peter Englert  
 **Subject:** ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (1 Attachment)

> [Click Here to View Attached Image]

**To:** Peter Englert  
 **From:** Sam Porter Bridges  
 **Subject:** RE: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

> holy shit dont do that again

**To:** Sam Porter Bridges  
 **From:** Peter Englert  
 **Subject:** RE: RE: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (5 Attachments)

> [Click Here to View Attached Image]  
> [Click Here to View Attached Image]  
> [Click Here to View Attached Image]  
> [Click Here to View Attached Image]  
> [Click Here to View Attached Image]

**To:** Peter Englert  
 **From:** Sam Porter Bridges  
 **Subject:** RE: please respond

> u have 2 wait my boss is on the line there is camera footage of terrorists beating a printer w/ a bat so blame those aholes if u kno any of them like personally it will b 5 min tops

**To:** Sam Porter Bridges  
 **From:** Peter Englert  
 **Subject:** RE: RE: please respond

> #  **HURRY UP AND FUCK ME YOU CRETIN**

**To:** Peter Englert  
 **From:** Sam Porter Bridges  
 **Subject:** RE: RE: RE: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

> they can & do read my inbox stop

Higgs screamed and kicked the timefall shelter, alone and half naked with only his thoughts and time to kill left him with no other choice.

Higgs Monaghan had to **_go there_**. **_  
_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: finale (for real this time!)


	5. Overworked Couriers on Film

_Somebody like that just should not exist._

Higgs Monaghan idly shifted his legs each time the wind brushed the tall grass against his bare thighs. It used to be that somebody like that _could not_ exist before.

Before he had made the fatal mistake of researching his target. Sam Porter Bridges only needed to be a name and a face to Higgs for him to set out on what Ameile asked him to do but Higgs liked Ameile, he trusted her. Never in his entire life had he trusted somebody before so he felt obliged to do it right. The fact that she had come to him in the first place had earned her his trust because it was solid proof that _somebody like that just could not exist_.

How in the hell was Higgs suppose to know that being nice to a pretty lady was going to fuck him over this bad?

* * *

Tucked away in a corner of the old shelter, Higgs still had his old backpack. He took good care of it and everything inside. He didn’t have much to his name as a kid besides a couple of ratty notebooks, a paperback of Alice in Wonderland, a hardcover encyclopedia of fungi, an old beat up book about planets, and the little plastic cosmonaut. Funny enough, it was the same character Sam’s BB had on a chain attached to it and Higgs had gotten his books and little toy the same way Sam had gotten his BB, it was trash.

Higgs loved the little cosmonaut the most. He didn’t care much about the book he had gotten with him, it had a big weird stain on it and parts of the pages were too faded to read and what he could read was all outdated information. The chunky pint-sized spaceman with his super cool skeleton mask? Now that was love at first sight. Higgs would balance him in front of his notebook on the floor to keep watch for his uncle while he wrote in his diary. As Higgs got older his fantasies got more complex and ridiculous and his cosmonaut became a sleepy, overworked every-man with a heart of gold that made him selfless to a crippling fault.

It was no wonder Higgs’ brain kept twisting every little thing Sam ever did into something terrible, thinking about this shit was going to give him an ulcer.

* * *

“Higgs!” Sam’s voice rang out over the creaky safehouse elevator. “Man! I can’t fucking believe you!”

With the exception of a now absent Lou, Sam looked exactly the same jogging out of the timefall shelter towards Higgs as he had going in walking away from him. Twelve minutes exactly Sam had been down there and Higgs felt sorry for the poor bastard. He couldn’t imagine listening to anybody from Bridges for 5 minutes let alone eleven minutes straight.

“Believe it, Sammy boy.” Higgs stood up.  
 _Am I finally going to get fucking laid now?_

“Biggest asshole in the area, of course it was you.” Sam sounded cheerful and so sickly sweet, like that garbage he gulped down his throat on the daily. “Your name is Peter?”

“Hell no! I look like a ‘Peter’ to you?” Higgs snorted. “Name’s Higgs, Sam. Always been and always will be.”

“Might need to take a nice long look.” Sam reached out and playfully tugged at the bottom of Higgs’ long fleece turtleneck. He _smirked_ at him. Higgs barely could process Sam smiling and now that bastard was smirking at him. “How long you been out here like this?”

“Too long.” Higgs grabbed his turtleneck and tugged it up over his chest.

Higgs was a good bit skinnier than Sam with a lithe figure, smooth stomach, and tight, lean muscles. Around his joints, over his top scars, and across his ribs he had carved out the Higgs boson on his milky skin. How would Sam feel if he knew it was his sister that had helped Higgs properly label his body? Of course to make them stand out more it was Higgs alone in his mirror who had to trace over them with his favorite black eyeliner pencil every morning.

In time Higgs had planned to show Sam his face, and while both had been marked and carved in similar fashion, Higgs never imagined showing anybody his body let alone Sam Porter Bridges. His morning ritual was one of self-worship. Something that made him feel better about his body when he did it. All things considered, maybe he could get Sam to do it for him now?

...As for why he was waxed it was a horrible idea he had recently tried inspired by the ancient Egyptians. Doing that shit fucking hurt like hell and he had no intentions of ever doing it again.

“Duuuude.”  
 _Higgs might do it again._

“Such an elegant response, are you overwhelmed by your place of worship, Sam?”  
  
“I’m overwhelmed by a lot of things right now.”

That was exactly what Higgs wanted to hear.

* * *

If it ain’t one thing it’s another.

Problem after problem. Higgs was starting to wonder if his place in this world wasn’t a god but a jester. Somebody out there was laughing at him, he could just feel it. One hurdle jumped only for another to pop out from the ground and this towering monolith was no easy rock to climb: how the fuck was he going to get Sam Porter Bridges to take off his clothes?

“Don’t- Ha- Ahh!” Getting the words out was the first challenge.

Sam had Higgs pinned up against the timefall shelter with one big hand holding Higgs’ wrists as far up above his hooded head as Sam could manage. What Sam could manage wasn’t much given Higgs’ height and lanky arms, before Higgs even got the chance to tease Sam about it Sam had grabbed between Higgs’ legs with his free hand and started to slip the odd finger in and out of him. Leaving Higgs empty and desperate each time it was gone and gasping and buckling up against Sam’s hand until the older man’s finger finally slipped back inside of him. Higgs could feel Sam shiver after every little kiss that Sam so generously peppers across his neck and under his chin. He could feel the way Sam’s hand trembled at the feeling of Higgs hot and tight around his finger. He needed more. Higgs needed to touch every inch of Sam and leave him a shaking mess.  
  
“Don’t go makin’ me lay on t-t-that dirty grass again.” Higgs finally managed.

“You wanna do it standing up?” Sam said breathlessly. He flicked his tongue over the golden mandible of Higgs’ mask before pulling away from Higgs and looking up at him.

“On my back, Bridges.” Higgs wiggled his wrists from under Sam’s grasp. “I ain’t got the experience you do.”

“First time is easier from behind.” Sam let go of Higgs and happily grabbed his ass. “According to porn.”

“Scholarly source.” Higgs wrapped his arms around Sam’s shoulders and rocked up against him, something big and hot pressed up against him as he did and Higgs has never felt his own ego skyrocket so fast. It was not normal for a man Sam’s age to get this hard this fast, according to the porn Higgs liked.

“If I’m not honest you’ll go and get some crazy idea in your head again.” Sam licked across the teeth of Higgs’ mask.

 _Like he had to try and taste Sam!  
Was Sam watching him that entire time?!  
Does the safe house have a secret periscope?!  
_“I don’t get crazy ideas.” Higgs huffed. “Close your eyes Sam. If you open ‘em I’ll nuke everything in a ten mile radius!”

“Not crazy at all.” The way Sam smiled as he closed his eyes kept Higgs from saying anything back.

Higgs kept watch on Sam’s face as he lifted his masks. Would Sam be able to tell he’s never kissed anybody before? If he could he probably already was well aware that Higgs has never actually touched anybody before romantically or otherwise. Higgs didn’t want to be a joke to Sam, he didn’t want to be a joke to anybody. This entire day fucked him so badly, even if nobody had been around Higgs knew he was a laughingstock. There was something out there watching him with glee and anticipation and laughing at him. Had to be.

He should run.

Higgs should grab Sam’s strand and tie Sam up to the steam of the big metal saffron milk cap and make a break for the safehouse. First things first he would go and grab Buddy before yanking his fatigues out from the private locker and covering himself back up. Higgs would tell her, deciding his pants are female to further separate them from Sam, that the jack off session they were about to have would easily make up for him calling her a jealous bitch. Then finally Higgs would shake Buddy in front of Sam and trigger a void out right after himself. That way Sam would continue to believe that Buddy can-

_Buddy._

Why was he calling it Buddy?  
Because Sam called it that _once?_

Sam who looked down at Higgs' BB with sad eyes like he was scared there was something hurting, worse than dead inside.  
Sam who played with and sang to his BB like it was a normal baby.  
Sam who accepted his body without a word.  
Sam who hasn’t once tried to take off his masks.  
Sam who didn’t even say anything when he stuttered.  
Sam who was all Higgs ever thought about anymore.  
 _Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam._

_Sam who just shouldn’t exist._

Between the river rocks pallid mushrooms began to grow up against the red ones with white spots as Higgs Monaghan leaned down and kissed Sam Porter Bridges.

* * *

“Oh for… Is this a fucking joke?” Higgs rubbed his temples as underneath Sam’s clothes was _even more clothes_.

“Is what a joke? Here.” Sam tugged his boots off and kicked them away before handing his jumpsuit to Higgs who had asked him to take it off so they could lay on it like a blanket. Higgs threw it and it landed up on the side of the stupid little hill that had gotten him into this mess. “Hey!”

“The grass is fuckin’ fine you neanderthal!” Higgs grabbed Sam by the waist before he could go and grab it again. The bulge in Sam’s long-johns was prominent to say the least and pressing right against his masks. Higgs had to keep himself from sniffing it.

“But you said-”  
  
“I say a lot things! Haven’t you ever heard that god works in mysterious ways!”  
  
“Yeah I noticed! Y’know you’re gonna have to take those off if you’re gonna suck-” Higgs pushed Sam away and sat down on the warm grass under the timefall shelter.

Higgs took a good look over Sam who was standing there mumbling something. As much as he liked seeing Sam’s cock frantically pressing up against his long-johns trying to get out he _loved_ the snug sleeveless turtleneck Sam was wearing the most. The thing was frustratingly sexy with the way it it stuck to the toned sides of his stomach and squeezed around Sam’s chest. His pecs looked fucking incredible and Higgs just wanted to _squeeze_ them. As big and strong as Higgs had always fantasized they would be. Perfect to play with and rest his head on like a pillow. Sam’s arms were solid muscle, covered in faded hand prints and Higgs could make out some of Sam’s armpit hair.

Before he knew it Higgs was grabbing his camera.

_That’s it!_

“Sam~ Sammy boy~” Higgs wiggled his camera.

“You really like saying my name, don’t you?” Sam started to sit down but froze in place when he noticed what was in Higgs’ hand. _Perfect._

“Yes sirree bob! I do like sayin’ your name~” Higgs cooed. “C’mon Sam! For the newsletter~”

“...Better be only one asshole subscribed to that newsletter.” Sam grumbled. The pink blush already on his old tired face turning red and spreading to his ears again. It was just so damn cute it made Higgs want to bite into those red ears and rip a piece off. “I still got your pictures too...”

“Sam you are _smothering_ the poor thing in there.”

Sweat dripped down Sam’s face and he lot out a hot breath as he got on his knees in front of Higgs. He spread his legs apart before tugging his waistband down his hips. Sam’s heavy cock bounced out like a spring making Higgs laugh in surprise as he snapped the photo. He got another surprise when Sam _whimpers_ in response.

“Get off on being laughed at?” Before Higgs can put his camera away Sam is lifting up his undershirt with his other hand until it’s right under his pecs. There’s even more hand print stains across his stomach than his arms and Sam has a rather nasty cross shaped scar that does wonderful things to Higgs the longer he looks at it.

“Your voice.” Sam says so soft that Higgs isn’t sure he said it at all. “Especially hearing it like that.”

“L-Like what?”  
  
“When you sound happy.”

Higgs can feel himself dripping while he crawls over to Sam. Sam pushes his shirt up higher and slowly pulls it off with the sound of each camera shutter. Higgs grabs his waistband and tugs it and they peel Sam’s sweaty baggy long-johns off together. Sam stretches like a cat and Higgs _cannot fucking believe this_ as he stands up to get a better picture.

“Higgs, I wanna ask you something.” Sam sounded so _shy_ and Higgs was sure he was melting. Sam was avoiding even the slightest eye contact, his cock dribbling precum and his face beet red. “I found-”

“Your proper place in life? Good to hear!” Higgs slid under Sam like a mechanic on a car creeper and started rapidly snapping photos.

“Dude!”

“What?” Higgs reached for Sam’s cock with a gloved hand and prepared to take a close up.

Before Higgs could finally take the holy grail of his photo collection Sam sat up and flicked Higgs on the forehead.

* * *

“About… What I wanted to ask before...”

“N-N-Now ain’t r-really the t-time.”

Sitting on Sam’s lap, Higgs was amazed the fucking _monster_ actually fit inside of him. Sam was shaking more violently than ever and just thinking about it made Higgs see stars. Higgs had pulled his gloves off started to rub his way up and down Sam’s back, his black and gold painted nails scratching against Sam’s flushed skin. Sam carefully pushed Higgs on to his back and Higgs’ hood fluttered down. Sam ran a curious hand through Higgs’ hair before messing it and pulling the hood back up for him.

 _Why was Sam so nice to him?  
  
_ “Don’t sugar me up here, Sam.” Higgs ran his fingers up and down Sam’s arm. “ _Defile_ your god!”

“You… You got it.” Sam grabbed one of Higgs boots and pulled his leg up wider making Higgs gasp. Without warning he started to thrust and it _hurt._ It filled Higgs to the absolute brim and hurt like nothing ever should, so wonderful and agonizing.

Higgs didn’t want it to ever stop.

“Sam!”

“Too tight...” Sam breathed. He grabbed Higgs other leg and spread both his legs apart, pushing the other man’s knees up to his chest. “How the fuck can you be this fuckin’ wet and still so goddamn tight.”

Higgs had to bite his lip to keep from screaming, he was cumming already as he thought about the bruises Sam was leaving on his legs. Higgs reached up for Sam and dug his nails into his shoulders hard enough to draw blood which rewarded him with a deliciously _violent_ thrust.

“C-Change places!” Higgs panted, scratching his hands down to Sam’s chest and squeezing before wrapping his arms around his neck.  
  
Sam nodded, his hair was damp and sticking to his forehead. Higgs _wanted to suck the sweat right out of Sam’s hair._ Sam let go of Higgs’ legs and hugged him close to him as he sat Higgs back into his lap. Higgs with a yelp started to bounce on Sam’s cock, frenzied and without rhythm. Sam moaned, his hands sliding down Higgs back and grabbing his ass. Pulling it apart and sneaking a finger inside of him without warning.

“Fucking BASTARD!” Higgs shouted, and he _squirted._ Since when has he ever done that? “More! Sam! NOW!” his commands came out high pitched, shaky squeals.

Higgs was quivering and trembling as badly as Sam now. Sam inserted in a second finger and tried his best to match his fingers with Higgs’ wild, unpredictable movements. His other hand stretching Higgs’ ass apart wider and pushing another timid finger inside as Higgs slammed himself hard down on Sam’s cock.

“H... Higgs!” Sam's cock twitched inside of Higgs, his fingers suddenly pulling out and arms wrapping around Higgs to cuddle him close as he came. It felt hot, and there was _so fucking much._ Higgs rutted up against him.

Higgs was vaguely away he was saying something as he scratched his name into Sam’s back with nails, but he couldn’t hear it. All he could hear was Sam moaning his name echoing in his head over and over.

Still, Higgs was confident that he was telling Sam how much he hated him.

* * *

“Being around you… Reminds me of eating pizza.” Higgs felt fried. He was lumped up against the timefall shelter like a rag doll with Sam’s tongue flickering in and out of him. Sam was licking him clean just because _Higgs had asked him to._ “Keep… Worshiping me...”

“We gotta go to bed soon.” Sam happily pressed his thumb against Higgs clit and smiled up at him.

“Yeah… You gotta give me Buddy back... So I can go home..”

“Stay.” Sam said, and Higgs could feel his heartbreaking as Sam sat up and ran his hand over Higgs’ masked face.

“Can’t… Gotta immortalize this in my journal so we can never forget your little terrorist rendezvous.”  
  
“That’s what I wanted to ask you about!” Sam said suddenly, startling Higgs. “I found these journals and I, I think they’re yours. In fact I’m sure they’re yours. Higgs I wa-”

“I have to leave.” Higgs stood up. Fuck. He couldn’t deal with that. How did…

“Don’t go! Come on! At least tell me if you meant all that!”

“Meant all _what,_ Sam?”  
  
“That stuff about being in love with me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Higgshroom cinematic universe may become extended but only time will tell.  
> For now this is the end.
> 
> as always, thank you all!

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: Fixed up a canon issue with Higgs' BB after rereading Higgs' journals on my save


End file.
